I am a non-swimmer. I have an active fear of water. The first time I tried to learn swimming was in my fourth grade. The swimming class was slightly comical when looking back. The first day of class - they dropped the kids at the deep end of the pool in some sort of a comical ritual. This turned out well for some, but for the other pour souls (like yours truly) - it lead to a life-long fear of water.
I think in our lives we have so much expectations. Over-achievement is a bane. Not a boon. "Why?" is a rarely asked question. "Want" is what we are always after.
Anyway.. now let me come to what I was telling. How and why did a non-swimmer like me want to do it. Dive in an ocean. Come to think of it - in the "pacific ocean" next to a small set of islands we call Hawaii. Its deep deep ocean. I don't know why - but strange facts come to mind when you lest expect to recall. Somewhere in my geography classes - I had read about the Mariana trench - supposed to be the deepest point in the pacific (or is it the deepest anywhere in the world - anyway.. shit.. who the hell cares how deep it is).... what if the oxygen runs out is a strange feeling. There was this strange ad which used to play on Indian TV during my childhood days - "Dar ke aage jeet hai" (There is victory in front of fear). I got visions of this Ad when I least expected... hell shit. Anyways... our minds wander.
Charlie Munger had said something which came to mind - "The secret to happiness is to lower your expectations. ...that is what you compare your experience with. If your expectations and standards are very high and only allow yourself to be happy when things are exquisite, you'll never be happy and grateful. There will always be some flaw. But compare your experience with lower expectations, especially something not as good, and you'll find much in your experience of the world to love, cherish and enjoy, every single moment."
Well.. that may be true, but so what. There was still the dive to make. And shit - I had lied on the form. I had ticked that "I know swimming" when there were those forms to sign (I would not have been diving if I had ticked no). I had rationalized who the hell cares if I knew swimming or not under water. I have equal chances of success under water than above it. Heck - that seemed all OK until we were on the boat. You see having flexible moral fiber is not something I'm comfortable with. Anyway. Now to the dive.
We had to get into our suits, put the fins on and jump into the ocean. Note the operative word - "jump" into the ocean without the oxygen cylinder hanging on. Its kind of crazy that you get special creative ability during such times.. heck I thought I was not creative. My feet started to cramp. I just dived overboard. We had to swim a few feet to wear that suit which carried the oxygen mask. I am still trying to think how I did it. Lets maybe blame that on "social proof" tendency. The theory goes that once you see others do it - you think or want to do the same stuff.. more on my thoughts on that topic in a separate blog post. Anyways.. this is what happens when you read too much of Munger. You atleast know human psychology and have words for shit you dislike or don't know.
After this initial experience of trauma - suddenly I got really calm. The calmness of the ocean took over me once I got that oxygen tube in and started breathing and turned around to look into the water. Yes "breathing". That's just it. Now I decided f**k the shit of all that comes to mind. I'm going to do one thing and only one thing right. Breathe. I just looked at getting my breathing right. All the external focus stopped and I started only focusing internally. What I had to do to survive. Now gentlemen - if there is one thing I can tell you from today - just concentrate on breathing if something like this happens. All that it takes for us to stay alive is breathe. Once you got hang of this one thing - it's all easy going from there.
The first jump that we did was in quite a dirty part of ocean. The only fun things I saw were a few fishes and some tubes lying on the ocean floor. The water was not all that pristine as I thought it was (now - we should not believe in ads). But - heck - I did a second dive. And it was magical. Getting underwater felt somewhat like flying. The sense of space. Sense of strange creatures - fishes, turtles, strange corals everywhere is amazing. Hundreds of fishes of all colors flying around you is magical. Finding Nemo seemed like a true movie. I just felt at ease with water. With myself. I made peace with my world during the dive. Breathe. The rest will be taken care of.
Ciao till next time...Harsha
