Running your own race: Understand Inner scorecard vs. Outer scorecard

Life is a single player game. It is not a multi player game. The things which really matter.. the ones which really really matter are internal, not external.

"The reality is life is a single-player game. You’re born alone. You’re going to die alone. All of your interpretations are alone. All your memories are alone. You’re gone in three generations and nobody cares. Before you showed up, nobody cared. It’s all single-player." - @naval

Warren Buffett asks a question if people behave the way they do to please others or play by the gallery because they want or have to? Are people satisfied with an inner scorecard or an outer scorecard? He often asks a simple question: "Would you rather be the world's greatest lover, but have everyone think you're the world's worst lover? Or would you rather be the word's worst lover but have everyone think you're the world's greatest lover?"

When you compare yourselves to others - you allow them to drive your actions. When you are young - it could be that you compare yourself against that kid who topped the class, or ran the fastest or played cricket the best or something else like - if only I could have been a little taller - I could have become a better basketball player. Some of these are trivial comparisons which lead to better performance, but most give headaches which you could do without. Knowing the limits of comparison is usually not easy.

The other day, I was comparing my two kids - who is going to be better academically, who can be a better business person, who would do better at something - why can't one be a little better here and so on and so forth.

Typically when you compare, and you end up short - it is because you are comparing their best features versus your own ordinary or mediocre features. In a sense you end up playing the other person's game.

A few years back, before I hurt my leg in a freak accident; the one thing which I really enjoyed most was running. Running 10K's and half marathons was very enjoyable. You tend to think about various things and mentally relax when you run for a long time.

The thoughts in mind are not about being faster than the person running next to you or to finish the race ahead of someone else - when the race is long, essentially it becomes a race against yourself. Setting yourself against your old best self. Setting a yardstick which you yourself had set and seeing if you can better that.

When you start comparing like that, you essentially try to become a learning machine updating your previous system with a better version. Its like getting a new software on an already existing hardware.

The question really is - what game would you want to play and what would you rather pass?

I was rambling around. But, that is really the question. It is really hard to think along those lines. Many a times, we die without thinking. I think most people would rather die than think :-)

Can you really beat Gary Kasparov?
Off-course you can. Just pick a game that's not chess. Maybe cricket which I'm sure he has no idea about.

Would you slog at work trying to please your boss? How can you become better at work?
Maybe yes, if you like your boss :-) Better still, pick things which you really know you can do well and maybe be world class in that small area.

It's important to cover fatal flaws (especially if you need domain knowledge to be successful), but really find those niches where you are best in class. Best in the world.

Knowing where to play and what to play?
The most important things in life are really measured internally. Does helping someone give you pleasure, does doing something scientifically or in engineering or being a medical doctor or fighting fires gives you pleasure? These questions are essentially very much determined by your nature, skill sets, temperament and the real "you".

Playing the wrong game is easy. That's essentially what most of us do. We may even win the game. But, how does that matter... winning the wrong game :-) It basically would be meaningless and pointless.

Thinking about what game you want to play is hard. Playing that is even harder. Pleasing the crowd at a common game is easier. Easy, crowded games are not very fulfilling. That's the way you can end up being mediocre. Most of us do end up there.

Know your game. Play your game. Help others play their games. Life's not a multi player game. Its a single player game played by multiple people who are playing their own games on the same playground.


Ciao till next time...Harsha